My picture of a depressed woman used to be of someone who could not get out of bed, take a job or be a good mother. But I have depression, I was diagnosed four years ago, and I’m not like that.
I worked for 19 years in the field of PR LOVES. I have a wonderful husband and son and wonderful friends. I am pleasantly entertained, nothing makes me happier than being in a large room full of people and meeting people who know others and I think they were clicking on them. I am the auctioneer in the annual fundraising campaign at my son’s school, where I sometimes make people laugh with my sense of humor. Inside, I always had to work to keep the dark mood in good shape. At school, I stayed too busy to distract myself, even as a guide for friends in need. I also had bulimia and saw a therapist who made me go. But above all I filled my life with good things and I felt good.
Then, four years ago, I took a high-profile job, which came under a lot of pressure. That’s when my depression finally disappeared. I started crying every day, I have trouble concentrating, losing weight. He had a medium voice in my head and he told me that he was not worthy, that he did not know what he was Keto Trim doing professionally, and that he was slower than the balloon globe of Messi in Thanksgiving. Suddenly, I was insecure in a way that I had not experienced before: I was talking to someone and then I was filled with doubts, as I imagined the other person who was watching, since I thought I was obsessed with guilt. When I cried inexplicably, twice, while I was walking with my son to school, I knew I did not want him to see me this way and that it was time to see a professional again.
After interviewing some psychologists, I found one with whom I could be real. Over the next six months, he has made great progress. I began to feel better and appreciate the blessings of my life. But I was still facing random negative thoughts and I broke down crying almost daily. My therapist mentioned antidepressants, but I doubted. I did not think I needed them, and I was worried that they could dampen my sexuality and numb my feelings.
Then I said in a session that I would like to start every day with a glass of wine to mix my moods. My therapist said that it was the role that antidepressants should play, and I began to think that I was avoiding drugs unnecessarily. Extreme depression is like any other medical condition treated so as not to be damaged. Do not let diabetes not be treated until you put yourself in a coma, and the treatment of this disease is no different.
Now I am taking an antidepressant and anxiolytic medicine, Lexapro, and I still see a beloved therapist. I also run regularly or go to SoulCycle classes, where I get additional help from Endorphin. I do not like having gained weight since the beginning of Lexapro, but it did not affect my libido and it did not diminish my feelings because I was afraid. I can feel love and joy easily. I just do not have these sterile ideas, and I do not feel like crying all the time. If I had a bad day, instead of feeling that my life was a disaster, I realized that it was temporary, a bad day like everyone sometimes, and that it would be fine.